Conservatives win the next Canadian federal election!

This isn’t a predictive headline, folks. This is truth. The Conservatives will win the election in October. I, as an Expat, can’t vote in it, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t take at least a sense of interest in it. Or stock in the fact that the Conservatives are finally getting what they wanted the last time: Complete control.

For the last two years, Canada has been living in the most blessed of political states: a minority government. As close to having the car in neutral as it gets. It means the least chance of political scandal (the "ruling" party doesn’t want to make mistakes that’ll haunt them come election time), and the opposition enjoys a place of perceived power as they get courted by the ruling party to help push through votes.

Well, that’s all coming to an end now. So brace yourself, Canada — things are likely to get worse.

Here’s the reality: The Conservatives are keen on setting the dial back a number of years. Estimates vary between 5 and 50. They want a world that’s white-bread, heterosexual, and very business-friendly. As opposed to being morally and ethically stalwart.

Now, for the record, I’m not holding up the Liberals to that standard. As we all know, their 13-year run in office went seriously afoul and rotten towards the end. Not a problem with the Liberals per se, but with a lack of government controls. Things like that make it hard to keep office.

Unlike the Liberals, the Conservatives are also very straight-forward with what they want. They will:

My arguments to these?

Here’s my problem with this election: There are no alternatives. Dion is totally the wrong person for the job. He has even less charisma than Harper (yes, it is possible). The Liberal Party chose wrong. They went with a Francophone in the interests of preserving national unity. But a Francophone does not represent the new powerhouse of the West (Alberta outclocks Ontario, folks, by quite a large margin when you look at the per capita). Canadians like money, and Harper comes from a province with stinkloads of it.

It doesn’t matter what the Liberals should have done — that’s old news, now. It’s how they’re going to handle this election. The Liberals are going to take a serious hit. The Conservatives have done an excellent job of not pissing anyone off, and have a track record to be envious of. The Liberals? Whine, whine whine. Not smart.

NDP? Please. Don’t make me laugh. The Bloc also serves no threat … except to the Liberals. See above.

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