BMO locked me out AGAIN

[[Bank of Montreal, I hate your security|I already hate BMO’s online security.]] Now I hate it more, if it is in fact possible to hate something more than “totally”.
I just wanted to into my account. Nothing serious. But the password they made me assign apparently has changed, or is something completely different than I can remember. It’s not like I already have 8,349,204 passwords that I need to remember (thank you, Sarbanes-Oxley) and I must’ve made something up on the spot, wrote it down and then immediately burned the paper without looking at what I wrote.
That must’ve been it. No way it could be BMO. Not a chance.

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  1. Sometime when you’re willing to listen to a rant, I’ll tell you about some of my less than favorable experiences with said bank 🙁
    Let’s just say that if they were the last bank on earth, my $$ would be in mason jars in the back yard!

  2. My first account with said bank was opened when I was a very small child, and I had that account through university. It was the only bank in the town I grew up in, although when my brother took over the family farm, he dealt with a different bank (didn’t seem to think that a dairy farm was a good financial risk).
    When I was in grad school, the service fees seemed to change just about every month – not good for an almost starving student counting every last penny. I found myself slightly overdrawn a few times because the service changes had gone up, and the banks didn’t inform their clients until after the fact – after they collected the service fees for people like me being overdrawn by $1.50. To be fair, most, if not all of the banks were doing the same thing, but I was royally p*ssed at the one I was dealing with (and government regulations changed that practice a few months after all of this happened). So – I decided to close my account and deal with one of the other chartered banks. Easy – except they had upped the fees yet again and I was overdrawn by a buck or two – yet again. I made sure they knew why I was leaving, but they really didn’t care – they were THE bank on my university campus and had a captive audience.
    When it came time to start paying back my student loan, they had messed up the date that I had actually stopped being a student – and insisted that I start paying them back after 4 months instead of the usual 6 months. It didn’t matter that I had all of the paperwork to support when I stopped being a student – they were right and I had to pay. (let’s just say that if I found myself in the same situation now, I would make a whole lot more noise)
    Several years later, and my husband and I are looking for a mortgage to buy our first house. We decided to talk to several banks – not just the one we were dealing with at the time and BM was one of them. Fortunately for us, we had already talked to 2 or 3 different banks and had a pretty good idea of how things could be juggled. We had a certain amount of debt, money for a downpayment, and money that could be used either for a downpayment, or to reduce our debt load – depending on what made the most sense. We ended up talking to the loans manager at that particular branch – someone who presumably had a lot of experience, and someone who, given a set of numbers should be able to quickly get a feel for whether something will work or not.
    So – she started entering numbers in to her *magic* program – our debt load, our downpayment, and then…… rather than subtracting the extra pot of money from our debt load, she added it to it – increasing the debt quite significantly. She then told us that we wouldn’t even qualify for a mortgage half the size of what we were looking for (with the implication of why were we wasting her time). I politely said that she must have made a mistake and could we please check the numbers again. We were told that “she did not make mistakes”. We told her that we had already talked to other banks and that they had said that the numbers worked – “she said that THEY all must have calculated things wrong because she certainly didn’t”. At that point, my husband got a soft kick in the shins, I told her that we were obviously not getting anywhere and thanked her for her time. And we left. And we have not been inside that bank since and I will only use their banking machines if they are the only ones around.
    And the mortgage – we went with TD – they were the last ones we talked to, and the first ones to get back to us with all the figures (this was just a few months before the never ending housing boom started). We told them about the debt, downpayment, extra money, and they helped us figure out the best place to put the extra stuff. Most of the time consuming calculations were to figure out if we could manage everything on just my salary. My husband was self employed at the time and basing everything on my income meant a whole LOT LESS paperwork. And we are still happy customers and have moved our business accounts there too.

  3. Well – my rant was rather long…… Geoff – be careful what you ask for 🙂 🙂 🙂

  4. Wow… that’s quite the rant. Not very angry, though. Gotta work on that, Lyn. 😉
    You really got screwed over with egotistical idiots. I’ve been pretty lucky — had people who bent over backwards to do things for me. (Even had one do things without me even having to ask!) No question — if that had happened to me, I’d have avoided them, too.

  5. LOL – let’s just say that my anger has been tempered with time – the last time I darkened the door of their establishment was in the fall of 1996 😀 – I was royally pissed at the time.

  6. Wow,
    I thought I was alone in my BMO banking frustrations. Then I googled “BMO rant” on a lark. Boy, have I got a convoluted story of inhuman,corporate redundancy for you… very much like your own but it’s too painful to relate at this time. All I can say is … beware of the email minions…Seriously, my brain hurts.
    It got to the point where I was so fed up with the dead-end recordings and programmed telejockeys that it became laughable and I just wanted to see how deep that rabbit hole was.
    That’s when I made the fatal mistake of making contact with an email minion to solve my problem. Hours and hours of wasted time on useless, regurgitated company lines and I still have no access to my account or any helpful info how to resolve it.
    Let me tell you those e-minions are good. They are like telemarketers in reverse. Maybe they are ex-telemarketers getting their revenge.I don’t know but at first, I felt I wanted to splatter the virtual walls with their collective slime as a defender of online banking rights everywhere. Soon I realized it was kind of like video poker… you know you will never win and beating up on the programmed politeness of lower echelon slaves is like kicking puppies in a corner. I get a sick feeling in my stomach.
    Maybe someday I will venture back into that online abyss again but for now I do my banking in person. It’s good to know I’m not alone in my experiences.

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