If you had told me that I would one day dread hearing the tune to Auld Lang Syne at five o’clock in the morning, I’d have thought you crazy.
But like many things that I thought not possible, this is precisely what happened.
Early on the 15th of February, Dad suffered a stroke, a result (assumedly) of his brain tumour. This put his health more into question, and bought me to Oakville on the 20th. I visited with my family, and tried to spend time with my father.
I didn’t sleep well while I was at home. But upon returning to Calgary, I slept considerably worse. At first, I assume it was because of a cold that I had developed while in Oakville. But things didn’t get much better after the cold had cleared up.
This morning, I realized why I couldn’t sleep. I was expecting a phone call. “The call.” My cell phone is programmed to play the tune to Auld Lang Syne when it received a call from my parent’s phone number. That is precisely what happened at 5:14:53am MST. It was Cathy. There was only one reason why she’d call at that time.
David Charles Sowrey passed away this morning, finally succumbing to the cancer which had spread though his body. My father is gone.
I don’t think it’s hit me yet. Aside from some heartfelt best wishes, it’s been … easy. But I’m probably still a little numb, and I haven’t been home yet.
Well, I haven’t been to Oakville yet. I can’t go “home” anymore. Home doesn’t exist anymore — not like it used to be. My father is dead, and with him dies my sense of “home”.
It is only one of many changes to come this year. It’s by far one of the largest, and of the most significant. But it’s a welcome change. At least now Dad can rest — his pain is gone, his worries ended. And Mom and Cathy can try to get back to their lives — once they’ve … once we’ve recovered from the loss.
I cannot say “goodbye” — I don’t believe in them when someone is that close to you. His memory and spirit will live on, and will be a part of me for the rest of my life. I will not say goodbye, for I will never give him up.
May you rest in peace, dear father. Find in death the peace you could not have in life.
