My Boxing Day special

I’ve had some interesting Boxing Days in my past, but perhaps today will rank as one of the strangest.

This morning, we woke up when The Monkey — who has become very adept at waking up before Mommy and Daddy — came marching into our room somewhere around 7:00. We all lollygagged before getting up.

That’s when I knew something was wrong. The room was spinning.

First thought: gimme a coffee, and I’ll be fine. Second though (albeit short-lived): the problems I had with the turkey yesterday are back to haunt me. (I’m the only one out, so that ain’t it.)

After the coffee, I went back to bed … and stayed there all day. Even rolling my head around brought forth serious nausea. (Using my BlackBerry — thankfully — has been no trouble.)

I called Alberta HealthLink, who quickly ruled out food poisoning (phewf!) And suggested I go to the urgent care clinic (think “hospital”, but without operating rooms staying in rooms — they take load off the hospitals) and see what they said.

Typically me, I didn’t go for several more hours. Alex’s mom came over to watch The Monkey while Alex carted me downtown. I almost made it the entire day without yarfing from near-constant nausea, but it finally got me just as I got in the door. Alex had to get a wheelchair.

Two very nice nurses — Jude at triage, and Alice in examination — got me in and settled, but it was still almost two hours before I could see the doctor.

(Dear Canada, enough with the tax break BS — our medical system is falling apart from lack of funding. You might bitch about it now, but just wait until you need it and it’s not there.)

The doctor, who reminded me of the one from early in Fight Club, did some tests before pronouncing that I have a “textbook” case of benign positional vertigo, a common problem that is caused by (normally present) crystals in the inner ear that have come loose. Thus when the head sloshes around, you get conflicting sensory inputs, leading to nausea.

Whee.

Prognosis is good, but I’ll be popping Gravol for a few days while doing some movements that should resettle the offending particle.

So yes, after all these years, you critics finally get to be right: I officially have a screw loose.

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