I am unable to speak

It’s the beginning of the year. It’s quiet. I’m (somewhat) relaxed. That’s probably why I’ve got a cold. At least, I think it’s a cold. It doesn’t behave like most rhinovirii I’ve had in the past — no fever, no stuffy feeling, no constantly-dripping nose. In fact, I don’t think it’s actually given me anything. Although it has taken something away…

My voice. I can barely whisper, let alone say something.

[Insert thunderous cheers from everyone sitting around me here.]

Yes, many people around here have been enjoying the drop in noise level. I’ve even had a few people mention that things seem different, only to find that I can’t say anything. And, of course, I’ve had those jokers who seem to think that it’s their responsibility to make comments about my vocal disability, even to the point of deliberately asking me questions that I need to answer.

I have to remember to cough on their keyboards.

It’s a weird feeling. My larynx has an an extremely faint soreness to it, but that might just be from me clearing my throat when trying to say something. Otherwise, I feel fine. In fact, I’ve forgotten more than once that I can’t say anything today, until I hear that airy chirp that emits from my mouth. I don’t have a frog in my throat, I’ve got a mouse.

This all started yesterday morning. I came to work with a sore throat. I thought it was due to dryness in the house. Barely halfway into the morning, I could hear my voice cracking. It was puberty all over again. By the end of the day, talking was forced. (I had to take Spaz to the vet again last night. More pills to ease her breathing. Now if the little furball would just take them…)

When I woke up this morning, I thought I was fine again. Then I tried to talk to the cat. (Yes, I talk to the cat.) Squeak. Spaz snapped her head up, thinking she heard a mouse. I tried to say something again. Squeak. Spaz stared at me hungrily. Nothing like a just-shy-of-six-foot tall mouse! I opted to shower before she got any ideas.

So today, I have relied tremendously on the modern technology of text. Email and ICQ have been my best friends today, allowing me to continue with my job without saying a word. Of course, Allard still likes to ask a question or two, making me cringe at what I’m going to sound like next.

I just hope this starts going away soon. The pack of cats following me around is getting a little worrisome.

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